I cried till my eyes were swollen, till my tears dried. I screamed till my voice crack, till my throat hurts. I was so helpless, so afraid. But you wasn't even there.
Rot at home th whole day, super bored de ley. I want to go shopping ehs. Who want go town shop must jio me uhs ! :D
Tomorrow going for jobinterview w Iris. Hope can get th job ley.
Meney money, fly to me please. Gaaaah.
I didn't smiled th whole day.
& I'm here at 7:26 PM .
Memories.
I cried th whole night, in memories of you .
Memories are sweet, so are those smiles you gave me. But now, it's piercing deep into my heart..
& I'm here at 10:11 AM .
Cried .
#01. I feel helpless. #02. I'm selfish, wht I can't have, people can't have too. #03. I'm all on my own, nobody wants me. #04. I feel like just knocking onto th wall nd die. #05. I want a pink funeral. #06. I don't need anybody to remember me. #07. I had enough.
It's all crushing down .
I cried, nd cried, nd cried. Till my tears dried.
& I'm here at 9:32 PM .
I gave you all .
You said neverbye. But you still abandoned me on my own in th end. I thought you loved me tht much. I thought forever was just within my reach. I believed you, I believed tht you weren't going to hurt me th way he did. But you did, nd hurt me zillion times mre thn he did.
Was tht love or just plain lust all along? Boy, I regretted, it's only up till today thn I regret. I knw I'm v slow, to regret only now. I tried so hard to wash every trace of you but I couldn't. Your love faded earlier thn those lovebites did.
I thought you really loved me, hais. You hugged me, promised me so much. I believed everything you said. I know, I was tht stupid, tht silly.
Till th end, I realised, it wasn't my love tht you wanted.
Boy, I gave you all.
& I'm here at 8:46 PM .
How long have it been since we last sat down nd chat tgt in some fine dining restaurants? I do miss those days we go town-ing, shopping nd eating. I hate time passing, you guys aren't going to be thr next year alrdy. Friends, I'm going to miss you all hell lots. I know, I sucks at handling friendships, always neglecting one whn I get a new one. It's such a bad habit, I know, but I just can't quit it. But you guys will surely know, I still love you all th most, th mostttt.
Friends, I love youuuuuuus! <33
& I'm here at 12:58 PM .
I want to sleep, I want to sleep, I want to sleep. (!!)
Grr. Ystd, went hke to meet millie, zihui, audrey, stephanie, yinghui nd shawn. Vball-d nd went to eat, aft tht, went home. Whn I was on bus home, somebody shouted pangpang into th bus whn th door open at th next stop. I was v shocked, I thought I was haunted. Thn, I saw alot of people on bus looking out of th bus. Nd I saw huanyu&co. x.x Shocked dao me sial.
Gaaaah, later going hke meet millie! :D
PS. I fell in love w freshwatermelon iceblended wo pearl (:
& I'm here at 12:45 PM .
I heard you whispered tht you'll only smile for me .
It took us one day to know each other, another day to be together, nd another day to fall in something we thought is love. Looking back, it seems like just a dream, a fantasy. I thought I barely knew you, but now, I know, I don't know you at all.
I thought I don't have to understand you to be w you, but it wasn't so.
PS. 03+06=09 (:
& I'm here at 10:23 AM . Sch's a bore . Should I go tomorrow? D': Brr.
ps. Silly, ily too (:
& I'm here at 11:12 PM .
心痛 .
Every memory of you hurts like fcuk. I can't get myself to move on, I can't force myself to accept th fact tht you're gone. I laughed, nd forgot why I laughed. All I ever could remember is just plainly you. Boy, I miss you. I used to hug you from behind, telling everybody you're mine. You used to hold my hands nd say neverbye. We used to laugh at each other for every stupid thing we does tgt. But boy, you're gone now. How long more will I take to forgive you, how long more will I take to forget you? Could I ever? Love, wht happened?
& I'm here at 10:37 PM .
SuQin=D: Thnks for tagging ehs (: ••♡HuǻNή.YuU♡••: YAYEEEE! I'm not scared of your cockroach, bwahahahahrs! Iris say's , ♥: Orbiquack! :D Still got more words lorhs, just tht I forgot. ;x ziHUI: GAAAAH, I know you adore my hair lurhs. Liyi: Tqtq! :D I know my hair nicer thn L! :D N.YINGHUI: Dot dot! :D Thnks for tagging, lol. Zhengyang: Lol wht? You lamb.
Sometimes, I feel myself slipping away. I fell down, nd I can't get up anymore.
Nd I know, I can't get over.
Wht a lie you've been.
& I'm here at 9:54 PM .
Emotions drowned me .
Hke-d w shawn, beini, xinyi, millie, elaine, celine, zihui, liyi, ivy, audrey, stephanie, yinghui, huimin, wanxuan, michelle, huanyu&co, yanmei nd last nd not least, minnie! :D
& I'm so fcuking tired now.
Emotions drowned me. Was it you tht have chnged, or me, or was it both of us? Or maybe, we've never chnged, just tht only reality chnged? I don't knw.
PS. My love died.
& I'm here at 9:10 PM .
Torn .
I'm wide awake nd I can see th perfect sky is torn .
I long for a real man wh will hug me whn I'm angry instead of leaving on my own to cool down. I long for a real man wh will kiss away my tears whn I'm sad instead of stuffing tissues into my hands. I long for a real man, one wh will cont to love me even whn th passion has faded away.
Yet, these are just yearns.
PS. 我的心,最好飼養了.只要你一句簡單的問候與關懷,就能讓我滿足;上癮,乖乖的永遠待在你身旁..
& I'm here at 6:44 PM .
TIRED!
I smiles, because I know you want me to.
Went EastCoastPark w Iris nd her family, to picnic. Her dad droved us thr, nd as usual, my carsick acts up agn. Reached thr, nd set up th tent etc. Thn, played nd ate. Also rent a double seat bicycle w Iris. It was scary ehs, I kept on screaming lorhs. But I got a hang of it alrdy, so no sweat! :D Slacked nd went jp to eat dinner nd home sweet home.
Iris have problem speaking, she said oldfraction instead of oldfashion. It was so funny manzx.
我用痛哭用回忆用深爱去想你.
& I'm here at 10:17 PM .
夜里的寂寞容易叫人悲伤 .
Boy, how could I ever whack out some guilty-ness out of you ?
You abandoned me all on my own, whn almost th entire world turned against me aft romising neverbye nd a shoulder to cry on. Did I not meant anything to you? I gave you everything, I believed you. How could you break this beautiful trust? I really thought it was all true. You used to be th reason for all th smiles, now, no longer. You're th only reason for all th tears, heartaches nd hatred. Boy, you don't know wht you did to me. I'm brokened, all those pieces of me.
Please feel sorry, you're supposed to.
& oh yes, thnks SIBEI痛 for tht beijingkaoya! ^^
& I'm here at 8:17 AM .
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你 .
I tried to hold back my tears, yet I lost contol of myself agn.
I was just opp your house, just one street away. Th distance was just a street away, yet you're so far. My heart feels colder thn in Neptune, do you know? Abandoned memories, forsaken me, everything's brokened.
Westmall-d, b.gombak-d nd hke-d. Vball-d, but th pain on my hand is nothing compared to th one in my heart.
I hate being two-timed. Stop trying so hard to convince me you did not. Admit it, jerk.
I never allowed you to stop worrying abt me.
& I'm here at 9:13 PM .
是你变了, 还是我忘了 ?
I miss Cher De Jian . It's like those days weren't really over, yet it has been ages. It all, just felt like yesterday.
-─━═★HuaN.YuU: I not called pingpang lurhs! GRR. :D
I'm so dead bored . & I have to get out of my house bfore 10am or I won't be able to get out aft tht. Damn it lurhs.
I know how hottempered I am these few days. But if you don't do things tht irritates me, I won't give a shyt to you. Irritate me nd try my tolerance, you won't get anywhr.
I have had enough . I don't understand how somebody claims he love her whn he cont to flirt w others. This is your kind of love, but too bad, this isn't mine. I hate your love, jerk.
& I'm here at 9:03 AM .
I promise I'll only go hke on tues, fri nd maybe weekends. I shall study hard nd prove her wrong. Way too ridiculars. She told my paretns I'm going to fail my 'n' level which will never happen to. me. Pissed me off tht badly.
Th blueblack just can't go away, nd stop attacking it. It really hurts like fcuk.
Queensway-d for currychicken tday w stephanie nd millie. Thn, went to hke slack for awhile. Aft tht, home sweet home (:
Home is still th place I comes back, w those brokened pieces of heart nd unheard sorrows.
& I'm here at 6:56 PM .
海枯石爛 .
海,究竟什麼時候才會枯? 石,要多久才會爛?
I can't give you happiness tht you want. I thought we really could work things out together. I believed in forever, because you promised me. I believed, because it was you. Boy, you said love. Is love so dispensable? Hais. How long has th heartache been w me? Six mths plus alrdy, boy, it's has been more thn half a year. Yet everything stll felt like ystd. You was mine, wasn't it so? I told myself I'm over you, I thought I could kick you out of my mind. But I'm still stucked at this time tht you were still mine, still my boyg, still my everything. How, how could I ever forget you?
I love you, boy, I always do.
& I'm here at 8:57 PM .
努力读书, 让你刮目相看 !
Grr, I feel like blogging. But I don't have th time to blog. As I typed these few sentences, I realised, I'm just one step away. Nd I shall click 'publish post' nd you will get to see my post.
Got to go meet yihuan now to study, xoxo!
PS. I know my hand tht blueblack seems like as though I was whacked w a metal rod. But no, it's not!
& I'm here at 2:46 PM .
其实我非常爱他 .
I still remember you're allergic to fur. I still remember you coldsweat alot. I still remember you get stomachache if you eat bfore 10am. I still remember you.
It's never easy to forget somebody, nonethless, th one I love so deeply. I tried to pave a path, but got lost in th jungle smwhw.
Lost, within myself. Everything's empty, I can't fake a smile anymore. You broke everything.
Love, I truly miss you.
& I'm here at 10:32 AM .
做什么, 都毫无意义 .
I'm useless. I couldn't save tht one&only thing my grandpa left me. It's brokened, so has my faith to believe in tomorrow. Looking back, I didn't knew I've travelled so far. How did I grow up? From whr did I found my dream nd lost it? I've forgotten, nd I don't want to remember.
I cried my heart out tday. But, love, you're not thr like you've promised.
shawn: Congrats wht? o.O
I can't smile, can't stop those tears from flowing. I screamed, kicked, fell, banged nd hitted. I miss everybody, why can't everybody stay by my side forever?
& I'm here at 10:37 PM .
我就是我 .
I want to sleep, but my hair haven't dry yet. I know you must be wondering why I don't use th hairdryer. But I'm just to lazy to move my butt from th chair.
Grr .
I know wht a pig I am. I'm eating supper at this time, infront of my comp. I wonder, wht's meaningful?
Centre of my world, I. Maybe I've neglected how others think, but I just can't get over th fact I'm an individual. I'm always Me, Myself & I.
Count th times I say 'I', I know thr's many. I'm a fan of myself, totally.
Go sch or don't go tomorrow ley? I couldn't complete my ss hmwk. (!!) Nd, neither did I done my maths hmwk.
I can buy blueberryredtea, but I can't buy you back.
& I'm here at 12:05 AM .
明明很难过, 我却哭不出眼泪 .
Sometimes, some things are meant to be untold. Although I'm not a book, doesn't means I can't be read. If you take a lil step forward, you will know me.
Iris say's , ♥: Happy One Year Anni too, boyfeeee! (:
Gaaaah, I've been given alot of nicknames at hke. Examples: pingpang, 蓝ster nd 痛痛. Nd everybody loves to call my nicknames so much. x.x
& I'm here at 11:21 PM .
I can't forgive you, can't forget you. Boy, how, how am I going to be fine on my own?
Lend me a shoulder, let me cry out all tht broken pieces of heart. I don't want to love anymore. Give me a hug, assure me I'll make it. Kiss me on my forehead, make me feel wanted.
Hais.
& I'm here at 10:14 PM .
蛮不讲理 .
I'm to respect a guy wh don't even have basic respect for himself.
In sch, we are taught tht inappropriate hand gestures invite wrong intention. Yet this guy, wh give me this kind of ahbeng hand gesture, sort of threaten me tht he's going to call my sch's om dowm. I'm not th least afraid, I didn't hand gesture insult, like wht he did, neither did I gave him verbal abuse. Call my sch for all I care, I can't figure out wht I'm wrong at all. I didn't do wrong, get your cctv, sound system nd cont threatening me thn. You are at fault, you said you made a police report. Thn aft waiting for half an hour, we went to inquiry whn thy're coming. Yet you chnged your statement nd said you only made a police statement. So, even if you do have your cctv nd sound system, so wht? You used th police to threaten us, nd I will say, it's also bullying. We are human, we have every human rights. Uncle, I don't know which era you lives in. But I'm pretty sure you're not. Because Singapore is a democracy country, whr people, be it man or woman, have every right to call th police to make a report. I can do so.
I'm so pissed. Just tht v pissed.
PS. You're a total disgrace to yourself.
SIPEI(!): I know you love my nickname too. (: Iris say's , ♥: Nd I love it . Beini . : You rocks too! Yo! ^^
& happy bday to you, happy bday to you! Happy bday to fatcat, happy bday to you!
& I'm here at 9:33 PM .
忌妒心作祟 .
Currently in sch, just completed th ne quiz. Bored, nd cold. T.T! Gaaaah .
Money, fall from th sky please. I want get adidas hoodie nd shirts de ley. Hais.
Somebody pissed me off ystd, fcuk man. Can't blame me for giving tht kind of black face ystd. Even millie also buaisong her lor. I play until I pekcek can. Fcuk off from hke lar, I don't ever want to see you thr agn. Bitch.
I miss my water bottle, I miss my water bottle, I miss my water bottle. Hais.
PS. I don't want to go el lessons.
& I'm here at 8:47 AM .
无能为力 .
Boy, thnks for being thr. Thnks for your every hug nd kiss, thnks for lending me your shoulder. Maybe one day love will blossom between us, maybe one day I will forget him. I know, I'm unfair to you, but I still can't love yet. Just not so soon. Boy, don't let me get used to you, will you? Every day, I wake up wondering wht I can do for you. To realise, nothing.
& I'm here at 9:40 AM .
想念是会呼吸的痛 .
Love, how are you? Aft you abandoned me, how had you been? How could I ever whack out abit of guilty-ness from you? Did I ever crossed your mind whn you pass by jurong? Have you forgotten every single thing?
I can pretend I'm fine, I really can. But inside me, it's all falling apart.
HuiMin:}: I know you miss me. (: Joey: Hahas! :D MILLIE: Gaaaah, I know my name v cute. Su'Qin=): Hahas! :D ' DOREEN.: Okay, it's xinyi.pang@gmail.com. Doraemon! :P
这是家吗?……
& I'm here at 11:31 PM .
曾经的单纯的誓言换来只有心痛 .
Went hke to meet peishan, doreen, yanmei, elaine, celine, millie nd others. Nd we badminton-ed nd vball-ed like crazyyyy tday.
Elaine is called sibeitong, celine is called feichangtong, millie is called mitong, nd I'm called tongtong. We are speak china-lishly tday, damn funny lar. Laughed until my stomach hurts, nd keep on squating down nd hit th floor like crazy. Hahahas!
Beini's dog v cute ley, nd th dog's name is mini! :D Machiam sounds like millie, right? So th dog became millie's sis, LOL!
Cheerup, I can see your emptiness in your eyes. I know, it's going to be hard, but believe me, you'll make it through. Friend, I'm here for you. (:
& happy bday to you, happy bday to you! Happy bday to egg tart, happy bday to you!
It will be as if I never existed. - Edward Cullen
& I'm here at 9:14 PM .
把懦弱隐藏起来并不代表不会受伤 .
My tidbits got stolen. (!!) Somebody finished my chocolates, my potato chips nd icecream! Now, hungry me have nth to eat now. D:
Vball-ed at hke w yanmei, millie, beini, doreen, peishan nd joey. Got K by vball twice nd bball once. x.x Is another total suayness day lurhs, blueblacks everywhr. GAAAAAAAH !
& happy bday to you, happy bday to you! Happy bday to doraemon, happy bday to you!
PS. I Miss HuiMin! :D PPS. She miss me more.
Never say goodbye. Because goodbye means going away, And going away mean forgetting. - Peter Pan